Less than 48 hours....

So. I am a little nervous. It's not that I don't already know that it WILL all work out. Because, it ALWAYS does. But, still, I am nervous. I am starting to homeschool two of my children in less than 48 hours. I'll give the background to this decision on a later post, maybe. But the bottom line is....I think God is asking me to do this. Maybe for a year? A semester? I don't know. I am working hard on following what God wants me to do right now...because if I go any further than that, I get a combination of nausea/butterflies/shortness of breath that I don't really like. So...I am going to pray, pray, pray and just move forward with the next step in front me.

Who knew those sweet ladies that have homeschooled for years were so BRAVE? Crazy, we knew (I am now ONE of the "crazies", so I can say that)....

What I do know is this: I need accountability. Thus....the blog.

I love the idea of a journal, but will never do it. It takes too long to handwrite my thoughts, and I much prefer the computer, as I can type almost as fast as my disjointed thoughts come.... So...I am starting this blog. It will be short at first. I don't have time to give it the upstart it deserves, and if I wait till its perfect....well....if you know me...it will never happen. I think I will share it, but I am not really sure. I want it to be real, honest, and transparent. So, I am going to try to write for me and me alone at first.

God is teaching me. Teaching me, day by day to rely on Him and Him alone to sustain me in my own messy, disorganized, insecure, unsure self. Still...I am SLOW to learn (but He is ever patient.) I am so thankful He is constant, because I have changed my mind about this 76 times and counting.....

I had to laugh. I called a HS mentoring friend this morning to ask what was the perfect Bible study is for my kids. Me being the "rule following perfectionist" that we have all come to know and love, wanted the PERFECT Bible study. I wanted something that was solid, exciting and truthful. Her response? Why don't you just start with THE BIBLE? Yea. Hadn't thought of that.

I AM nervous, but not at all concerned with how this will "turn out". It may be that I fail, but I am learning, year by year, that some of my biggest failings have been JUST at the right moment when I needed a BIG lesson from Him! Or, it may be that I have found my lifes work (quite literally, as I have AT LEAST 17 more years with children under my roof/in school.

I am more nervous about the day to day, the routine, the discipline it will take to teach two children, and make sure that our house isn't completely covered in Sharpie marker by my two and one year old at the end of each day (I have two very artistic children)

So, here it is...less than 48 hours.....I better get it together.