To My Mom

Every year, on Mothers Day, my mom asks me to write something for her present. And, every year, on Mothers Day, I blow her off with a lame excuse. "I am not inspired", "I do write....on facebook...at least 3 status updates a day", "I don't know what to write about"....

The last excuse is slightly true. Sometimes, I have so many subjects, or not enough subjects....to write ABOUT.

Well...I have decided to write about what I did not know....

To My Mother

What I Didn't Know...

I didn't know that you stayed up all night and rocked me to sleep, while praying for a break in my fever.

I didn't know that you missed out on many opportunities so I would have some.

I didn't know that the endless lessons paid for, dragged to, cajoled to attend and participate in, were not of some torture method perfected throughout time by mothers of all tribes and continents, but yet, an effort to find what natural tendencies and gifts the Lord had bestowed me, and to nurture them so that I would become the woman that God intended.

I didn't know that you prayed for my salvation each day until I accepted Him.

I didn't know that you stared at my little dimpled hands, and the fat rolls on my chubby baby thighs and thought that I was the most perfect thing God had ever created.

I didn't know that you prayed for a man to come along side me, to be a leader, and to teach my children to love the Lord.

I didn't know that it REALLY did hurt your heart as much or more when mine was broken over a failed relationship in my life or one of life's many rejections.

I didn't know that when you said how beautiful you thought I was that it wasn't an obligatory "mom" statement....it was how you really felt when you looked at me.

I didn't know that you worried whether or not you were the best mother for me. Wondered whether or not you were equipped with the skills to mother this easily distracted, and flighty child.

I didn't know that when you were bragging on me to your friends you weren't trying to embarrass me, you were just truly proud of the young lady I was becoming.

I didn't know that each decision you made was always filtered with what you felt and prayed was the best decision you could make to benefit me and my sister.

I didn't know that when my daddy died, your grief was as much about the loss of a father to two young girls as it was the loss of a spouse.

I didn't know that you truly wanted me to feel supported and loved no matter the decisions I made in life.

I didn't know the depths of your love, your fear, your hopes, your dreams, your unfailing support, your admiration....until I had children of my own.

Until I held that baby in my arms 8 (almost 9!) years ago and my world was changed. And I KNEW that I would rather have my life crushed than one hair on her head be harmed.

And then I also REALLY knew the Love of the the One that you worshiped, adored and prayed to concerning my life...and ultimately your legacy.

I love you, Mom. Thank you for loving me, and above that...loving Him.

Meg